Thursday, 29 December 2011

Tips for Understanding your Man

Men dressed in business attire
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” is what the old adage says. It really serves to show how different the sexes are, from completely different planets. One of the major differences between men and women is the way in which they express themselves. This difference can cause much conflict within a relationship as neither partner will be able to understand the other. Let’s try to understand our men, why they behave the way they do.

Women are very expressive, society promotes it. You see, women are allowed to be soft. They are allowed to cry , say exactly what is causing them to hurt. Men are, however, completely different. There is a theory that suggests that, because traditionally the man is supposed to defend their women and children in times of danger, they are grown and taught not to have feelings as they would realize that killing is morally wrong. As a result of such training, they become adults who are uncomfortable with certain feelings and emotions; men who lack the ability to adequately express themselves.

A male photographer, leaning on wall, examining his camera
Men are uncomfortable with feelings of sadness, hurting and fear. They do not like using words like vulnerable, sad and scared. They are likely to express anger and frustration as this is a safe zone for them.

When they do this, of course, the woman’s immediate reaction is to get back into his face and then the argument starts. Either she does that or she begins to cry. She takes his anger personally and, once again, erroneously reinforcing to the man that nothing good can come out of expressing one’s emotions. But, what does that solve?

As women, the first thing we need to be cognizant of is the aforementioned. Try to understand why the man reacts in such a way. From there, we can navigate the course of the proceedings that follows. Do not just fire back. Listen to what he is desperately trying to express in his frustration. Not only listen to what they say but watch their actions as again they will not say everything. It is not that the man is allowed to be disrespectful and abusive, but ladies there is merit in trying to understand what your man is trying to say. It makes for a happier relationship.

Man and woman taking a stroll together hand in hand

What do you think?


Tuesday, 20 December 2011

What women want from their men

A professionally dressed woman reading a book in an office. What does she want? That is a question that a lot of men seem to ask. You see, some men think that it is enough to simply provide financial support or physical help for the women in their lives. However, there is a lot more to keeping a woman than that. I always say that some men only concentrate on that initial phase of getting the woman, sweeping her off her feet. The real art though, for me, is the ability to keep the woman and keep her happy. That is where a lot of men fall short, they have no clue as to how to love a woman and maintain a happy relationship.

A companion

A woman needs someone to share all the responsibilities with. Someone to share the decision making process. A woman wants to know that when she is unable to get something done, she can depend on her partner. She does not need someone whom she will have to pick up after and run behind. She needs someone reliable, a man to help her and pick up the slack. A leader, capable of and willing to take responsibility for his actions, but not someone to boss her around and dominate the relationship. Rather, she needs equality as an affirmation to the fact that what she thinks and says matters.

To feel loved

Women are obviously more sensitive than men. We need to not only hear you say “I love you” but we need to see it in actions. Let her know why you love her. Tell her how gorgeous she is looking today, how her dress hugs her beautiful figure well. Yes, we need to hear it. It is not that a woman lacks self confidence why she needs to hear this from her man but she only wants to know that she can still turn the head of her man. It keeps the spunk in the relationship.

A woman serving food in an outside setting
Make her feel loved, also, by showing appreciation. Can you imagine a woman slaving away at a dinner and the man comes in and does not want it or, even if he eats it, complains about the taste? That will drive a woman crazy. It is not that you cannot give constructive criticism but you must be tactful. Let her know you appreciate her.

Another thing is how he touches her. If the only time he touches her is when he wants sex then she will pick up on the pattern and begin to resent him for it. It should not be that every time a man gently touches and massages his woman it is because he needs sex. No, she will feel as if that is the only thing he wants her for. The man must know how to make her feel good without always wanting something in return.


This is a big one. Women like to express themselves, the way they are feeling. I know That there is a huge difference between the sexes in this regard but the greatest thing you will ever need to learn about a relationship is the art of compromising. So meet her half way. Talk about what is happening with you, what is happening at work etc. Again, we do not expect men to be as talkative as we are. Just have a conversation, she will lead the way.

Women are strong beings but we have soft hearts that can be broken easily. However, if a man plays his cards right, she will always be his tower of strength.

Photo credit: all pictures courtesy of morguefile.com