Thursday, 29 December 2011

Tips for Understanding your Man

Men dressed in business attire
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” is what the old adage says. It really serves to show how different the sexes are, from completely different planets. One of the major differences between men and women is the way in which they express themselves. This difference can cause much conflict within a relationship as neither partner will be able to understand the other. Let’s try to understand our men, why they behave the way they do.

Women are very expressive, society promotes it. You see, women are allowed to be soft. They are allowed to cry , say exactly what is causing them to hurt. Men are, however, completely different. There is a theory that suggests that, because traditionally the man is supposed to defend their women and children in times of danger, they are grown and taught not to have feelings as they would realize that killing is morally wrong. As a result of such training, they become adults who are uncomfortable with certain feelings and emotions; men who lack the ability to adequately express themselves.

A male photographer, leaning on wall, examining his camera
Men are uncomfortable with feelings of sadness, hurting and fear. They do not like using words like vulnerable, sad and scared. They are likely to express anger and frustration as this is a safe zone for them.

When they do this, of course, the woman’s immediate reaction is to get back into his face and then the argument starts. Either she does that or she begins to cry. She takes his anger personally and, once again, erroneously reinforcing to the man that nothing good can come out of expressing one’s emotions. But, what does that solve?

As women, the first thing we need to be cognizant of is the aforementioned. Try to understand why the man reacts in such a way. From there, we can navigate the course of the proceedings that follows. Do not just fire back. Listen to what he is desperately trying to express in his frustration. Not only listen to what they say but watch their actions as again they will not say everything. It is not that the man is allowed to be disrespectful and abusive, but ladies there is merit in trying to understand what your man is trying to say. It makes for a happier relationship.

Man and woman taking a stroll together hand in hand

What do you think?


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