There are several factors that can help a relationship between two people keep afloat. One such very important factor that must be done correctly is communication. If the communication in a relationship is not effective or poor, then that relationship may not last very long as several problems will arise. Here are some important tips for effective communication.
1] Try to stay on the topic. If a conflict arises between two people in a relationship, while discussing it, try to remain focused on the matter at hand and not stray and bring up things from yesteryear. Bringing up old stories tends to cloud the whole communication process and sometimes you do not even remember what you were initially discussing and, hence, no effective problem solving takes place.
2] Pay attention. Listen to what your partner is saying. Really listen, do not just pick out bits and pieces and think of a come back. Instead, try to listen and understand their point of view, try to step into their shoes as effective communication requires persons in a relationship to empathize with each other. Also, observe your partner’s body language, as humans we communicate not only with our mouths but also through expression. When your spouse is speaking, do not interrupt, give feedback and show that you understand what was said.
3] Watch your reaction. Make sure your partner knows that you are interested in the communication process. If a criticism about you is made, do not respond with defensiveness. Instead, try to understand why your partner thinks so of you. By taking this approach, you gain valuable information about yourself that you probably did not know. Take responsibility for your actions and work on fixing your flaws that interfere with the relationship.
4] When bringing across your points, be subtle. Do not be argumentative or verbally abusive. This is not effective and will get you nowhere, communication is not a blame game. For example, instead of saying you did…try to start sentences with I feel frustrated when you….This route will spark less contention and the least amount of arguing you have during the communication process , the more effective itwill be.
5] The big one, compromise. The aim of communication is to diffuse contention by coming up with solutions that are satisfying forboth persons in a relationship. Do not be afraid of discussing the complicated issues; attack them together, brainstorm together for effective solutions. In order for everyone to be happy, each person will have to give and take.
Remember that the goal of effective communication is mutual understanding and finding solutions that will suit both partners in a relationship. So go ahead, take it slow. Control your temper and follow the tips to ensure a happy, loving and long lasting relationship.