Thursday, 13 November 2014

Why Do People Cheat?

Say the word cheating to someone and they will know instantly what you mean; some form of unfaithfulness by either partners in a relationship. Upon finding out that a spouse has been unfaithful, one can feel quite disappointed and upset. To protect against this, many focus on trying to recognize the signs of a cheater. However, is that the right way to go? Is Knowing how to catch a cheater as important as trying to understand why do people cheat?


Research shows that cheating in relationships is on the rise. The rate of cheating seemingly used to only hover somewhere between 10 and 25% but statistics now show that it is closer to 50%. That should be no surprise; I mean really, there are websites set up now that are dedicated solely to the purpose of helping married people commit infidelity. Seriously?


Many times cheaters do not set out to be malicious to their partners. In fact, the cheating partner usually still loves and cares for the other very much. They know that if their partner finds out about the affair it would be devastating to them; that is why they keep it a secret. I once heard a lady who
had been cheated on describe her feelings by saying that it felt like her soul had been taken out and stepped on. Wow, heart rendering! Then why do people cheat? Apart from the rare occasion where a particular person just simply enjoys doing it, what are the reasons why people continue to engage in extramarital affairs?


Infidelity can be a symptom of something going wrong in the relationship; a manifestation of some long standing issues. Someone cheating does not have to be the end of a romance. Examining the reasons why people cheat and fixing the problem from the root could help us all possibly prevent cheating and keep healthy relationships.


Reason 1: Sex

Research shows that many people tend to quote sex as the primary reason for cheating. Either they feel as if their partner is not giving them often enough or that the whole act is simply not satisfying. Sometimes there is a difference in the sex drives of the individuals and this can pose a problem as one partner may not feel as inclined to engage in sexual activities as many times as the other; leaving the other wanting. Also, lovemaking may seem boring and monotonous to one spouse if it is always the same old way. A difference in personalities may underline these problems.


Reason 2: Emotional attachment

In a relationship one expects to get attention, affection and care from their spouse. If a partner feels as if he/she is not getting the emotional connection needed, then they will look elsewhere. Women who cheat tend to be the ones who seek emotional connection inside the arms of another person.


Reason 3: Falling in/out of love

What exactly do we mean by being in love? Basically we are talking about the spark that exists between partners; the chemistry that makes them lovers. If there is no spark left in your relationship, your partner may just feel like a best friend or a roommate


Reason 4: Revenge

Some people have affairs simply because their partner had committed one first. They do it just to get back at them, to make the one who cheated first experience just how painful discovering infidelity is.


Reason 5: Curiosity

Sensation seeking may be the reason for some people committing infidelity. They simply feel for a change, they like novelty. Maybe before the primary relationship, the partner in question never felt like he/she got enough time to explore. Or sometimes wanting new experiences constantly is a personality trait. That is why knowing if you and your spouse’s personalitiesare compatible is so important.


Reason 6: Self abandonment

Upon reading ‘Why do people cheat on their partners’, I discovered another possible reason for cheating. The psychologist there purports that self abandonment also leads some people to commit adultery. You feel empty within yourself and so you continually seek after others to fill the void.


Reason 8: A lifestyle

For some people it is like a culture. This seems especially so with men who cheat. They see their friends doing it and it seems like it is not a big deal. Sometimes too, that is the kind of behavior someone may observe in the home while growing up. So it becomes easier to do.


If your partner loves you but still cheated on you, one of the above could be the reason. You have to sort it out together. Pay attention to one another, have fun and explore new things together, always keep it fresh. Do what it takes to spice up your relationship. Remember if you cannot solve the problems by yourselves, seek the help of a therapist.




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