Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Eight Sure Signs of a Cheater

Are you worried that your partner might be cheating on you? As humans we must have, at some point, encountered this problem whether directly within our own relationships or indirectly through someone else’s. Cheating can cause a lot of heartache for the person on the receiving end; it is a major cause of break ups and divorces. Yet it still happens. So what are the signs of a cheater? What exactly do we look out for?
Cheating can cause a lot of heartache.

Well the first thing is to trust your gut. Your animalistic instincts will tell you that there is something off about him. You sense that, somehow, she is different. If you experience this, start looking out for signs that are typical of cheaters.


Sign 1 – Your partner is suddenly always busy

You realize that scheduling some time with your mate now becomes an uphill task. He no longer has time to do the simple things you used to do together. She becomes non-committal – cannot say “yes I will be there” at such a time. You ask why is that, you might not get a straight answer.


Sign 2 – Your partner showers immediately after coming home

You notice that hee/she now has a pattern of taking a shower as soon as they get in. That’s odd.


Sign 3 – Your partner has a loss of interest in sex

If you notice that your mate no longer seems to enjoy lovemaking anymore with you, it may be because they are getting some from elsewhere. In general the person begins to complain a lot about sex, they may introduce new bedroom techniques or he/she simply has no interest. Now let us be careful. A dip in sex drive can be caused by several things like medication, age or even stress. So loss of interest in sex does not automatically indicate cheating. Neither does introducing something new into the bedroom as there is nothing wrong with a spouse trying to spice up a relationship. The thing is you have to know your partner and know what kind of relationship you have. Do they seem really enthusiastic about exploring those new ways with you?


Sign 4 – Your partner seems to always be fussing about something

You may find he/she makes an argument about everything. They lash out and then leave, almost as if to find solace somewhere else.


Sign 5 – Your partner becomes evasive and defensive

Simple questions that you used to ask before now seem like an interrogation to them. Questions like “honey where were you today?” are now challenging to ask; Either they take offense to it and start screaming at you or avoid the question altogether. They might even change the subject or turn the question back around on you.


Sign 6 – Your partner no longer makes you feel as if you are important to them

You have become irrelevant. Things that you used to do together he/she now does on their own. You feel left out.


Sign 7 – Your partner puts a lot more effort into appearance

Now obviously there is nothing wrong in wanting to look good. In fact I love when my man spruces up. The difference is, he cares what I think. If I get all sexyand hot going out, I want my husband to notice. If your spouse does not seem to care what you think , they may be doing it to get attention from somebody else.


Sign 8 – Your partner becomes very secretive

You may realize that getting information out of your spouse is now like pulling teeth. They no longer share certain details of their life with you. Notice how they keep their phone. If he/she hogs their cell phone [takes it even to the bathroom], they may be hiding an affair.
Lipstick on his shirt? He might be cheating!


Do you think men and women display different cheating ways?

I stumbled upon  an article the other day, "How men and women cover up cheating differently". It was very interesting as I found that, indeed, men and women do display slightly different cheating ways. I learnt that the major difference between the sexes is that men who cheat are masters at covering their tracks while women who cheat worry more about the story behind it. For instance, if a man was out cheating he might go home and tell his significant other that he was out with his friends. However, a woman would actually go over to her friend’s house after her infidelity activity just to make sure that her story matches up. She might even post facebook pictures just to prove it. Another example is, instead of simply deleting emails from a cheating partner, a woman might create a new email account for only such a purpose. Women who cheat work harder and plan more to cover up.


Here are some behaviours typical of the sexes.



·         Display a dip in sex drive

·         Takes more interest in appearance

·         Cannot explain missing money

·         Takes phone everywhere

·         Has changes in his car [like seat positions or unknown belongings]



·         Seem to be spending an extraordinary amount of time with girlfriends

·         Focus on their appearance too but seem mostly concerned with exercising and going to the gym

·         Will create new email accounts


If you suspect that your partner is cheating make sure you have enough evidence before accusing them. Cheaters who have no intention of stopping will simply be more careful if you do not catch them properly. On the other hand if he/she really is not cheating, then accusing them could cause a rift in your relationship as your mate will believe that you do not trust them. However if you are sure, then effective communication is the order of the day. Try to understand why they are doing it and discuss how you can mend your relationship.