Are you worried that your partner might be cheating on you?
As humans we must have, at some point, encountered this problem whether
directly within our own relationships or indirectly through someone else’s.
Cheating can cause a lot of heartache for the person on the receiving end; it
is a major cause of break ups and divorces. Yet it still happens. So what are
the signs of a cheater? What exactly do we look out for?
Well the first thing is to trust your gut. Your animalistic
instincts will tell you that there is something off about him. You sense that,
somehow, she is different. If you experience this, start looking out for signs
that are typical of cheaters.
Sign 1 – Your partner
is suddenly always busy
You realize that scheduling some time with your mate now
becomes an uphill task. He no longer has time to do the simple things you used
to do together. She becomes non-committal – cannot say “yes I will be there” at
such a time. You ask why is that, you might not get a straight answer.
Sign 2 – Your partner
showers immediately after coming home
You notice that hee/she now has a pattern of taking a shower
as soon as they get in. That’s odd.
Sign 3 – Your partner
has a loss of interest in sex
If you notice that your mate no longer seems to enjoy
lovemaking anymore with you, it may be because they are getting some from
elsewhere. In general the person begins to complain a lot about sex, they may
introduce new bedroom techniques or he/she simply has no interest. Now let us
be careful. A dip in sex drive can be caused by several things like medication,
age or even stress. So loss of interest in sex does not automatically indicate
cheating. Neither does introducing something new into the bedroom as there is
nothing wrong with a spouse trying to spice up a relationship. The thing is you
have to know your partner and know what kind of relationship you have. Do they
seem really enthusiastic about exploring those new ways with you?
Sign 4 – Your partner
seems to always be fussing about something
You may find he/she makes an argument about everything. They
lash out and then leave, almost as if to find solace somewhere else.
Sign 5 – Your partner
becomes evasive and defensive
Simple questions that you used to ask before now seem like an
interrogation to them. Questions like “honey where were you today?” are now
challenging to ask; Either they take offense to it and start screaming at you
or avoid the question altogether. They might even change the subject or turn
the question back around on you.
Sign 6 – Your partner
no longer makes you feel as if you are important to them
You have become irrelevant. Things that you used to do together
he/she now does on their own. You feel left out.
Sign 7 – Your partner
puts a lot more effort into appearance
Now obviously there is nothing wrong in wanting to look
good. In fact I love when my man spruces up. The difference is, he cares what I
think. If I get all sexyand hot going out, I want my husband to notice. If your
spouse does not seem to care what you think , they may be doing it to get attention
from somebody else.
Sign 8 – Your partner
becomes very secretive
You may realize that getting information out of your spouse
is now like pulling teeth. They no longer share certain details of their life
with you. Notice how they keep their phone. If he/she hogs their cell phone [takes
it even to the bathroom], they may be hiding an affair.
Do you think men and
women display different cheating ways?
I stumbled uponan
article the other day, "How men and women cover up cheating differently". It was very
interesting as I found that, indeed, men and women do display slightly
different cheating ways. I learnt that the major difference between the sexes
is that men who cheat are masters at covering their tracks while women who
cheat worry more about the story behind it. For instance, if a man was out cheating
he might go home and tell his significant other that he was out with his
friends. However, a woman would actually go over to her friend’s house after
her infidelity activity just to make sure that her story matches up. She might
even post facebook pictures just to prove it. Another example is, instead of simply
deleting emails from a cheating partner, a woman might create a new email
account for only such a purpose. Women who cheat work harder and plan more to
Here are some behaviours typical of the sexes.
·Display a dip in sex drive
·Takes more interest in appearance
·Cannot explain missing money
·Takes phone everywhere
·Has changes in his car [like seat positions or
·Seem to be spending an extraordinary amount of
time with girlfriends
·Focus on their appearance too but seem mostly
concerned with exercising and going to the gym
·Will create new email accounts
If you suspect that your partner is cheating make sure you
have enough evidence before accusing them. Cheaters who have no intention of
stopping will simply be more careful if you do not catch them properly. On the
other hand if he/she really is not cheating, then accusing them could cause a
rift in your relationship as your mate will believe that you do not trust them.
However if you are sure, then effective communication is the order of the day.
Try to understand why they are doing it and discuss how you can mend your