tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76088069984555661632024-02-19T02:55:28.858-08:00Let's talk relationshipsRelationships are so hard to maintain. They take a lot of energy and effort and yet sometimes, even after doing all that, we still do not get it right. Let's talk about it and help each other.KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-46910001611225430942014-11-13T08:35:00.000-08:002014-11-13T08:37:43.214-08:00Why Do People Cheat?<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Say the word cheating to someone and they will know instantly
what you mean; some form of unfaithfulness by either partners in a
relationship. Upon finding out that a spouse has been unfaithful, one can feel
quite disappointed and upset. To protect against this, many focus on trying to recognize
the signs of a cheater. However, is that the right way to go? Is Knowing how to
catch a cheater as important as trying to understand why do people cheat?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Research shows that cheating in relationships is on the rise.
The rate of cheating seemingly used to only hover somewhere between 10 and 25% but
statistics now show that it is closer to 50%. That should be no surprise; I
mean really, there are websites set up now that are dedicated solely to the
purpose of helping married people commit infidelity. Seriously? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Many times cheaters do not set out to be malicious to their
partners. In fact, the cheating partner usually still loves and cares for the
other very much. They know that if their partner finds out about the affair it
would be devastating to them; that is why they keep it a secret. I once heard a
lady who </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMG45d3nxF4AybqxaFQVJQ5-foSWoD5llnVFWCTel8qPDTyjiAsQWRLPGzeYWOFsbec4kpOElZIpUXxvi3e83SGr_FA3_XUyG_RYzufqjDoWwwS_EvJeEGt_qkG5Uw_slACA4abc9KlSzR/s1600/couple+secret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMG45d3nxF4AybqxaFQVJQ5-foSWoD5llnVFWCTel8qPDTyjiAsQWRLPGzeYWOFsbec4kpOElZIpUXxvi3e83SGr_FA3_XUyG_RYzufqjDoWwwS_EvJeEGt_qkG5Uw_slACA4abc9KlSzR/s320/couple+secret.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">had been cheated on describe her feelings by saying that it felt like
her soul had been taken out and stepped on. Wow, heart rendering! Then why do
people cheat? Apart from the rare occasion where a particular person just
simply enjoys doing it, what are the reasons why people continue to engage in
extramarital affairs? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Infidelity can be a symptom of something going wrong in the
relationship; a manifestation of some long standing issues. Someone cheating
does not have to be the end of a romance. Examining the reasons why people
cheat and fixing the problem from the root could help us all possibly prevent
cheating and keep healthy relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 1: Sex<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Research shows that many people tend to quote sex as the
primary reason for cheating. Either they feel as if their partner is not giving
them often enough or that the whole act is simply not satisfying. Sometimes
there is a difference in the sex drives of the individuals and this can pose a
problem as one partner may not feel as inclined to engage in sexual activities
as many times as the other; leaving the other wanting. Also, lovemaking may
seem boring and monotonous to one spouse if it is always the same old way. A
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html?spref=tw">difference in personalities </a>may underline these problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 2: Emotional attachment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In a relationship one expects to get attention, affection
and care from their spouse. If a partner feels as if he/she is not getting the
emotional connection needed, then they will look elsewhere. Women who cheat tend
to be the ones who seek emotional connection inside the arms of another person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 3: Falling
in/out of love<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What exactly do we mean by being in love? Basically we are
talking about the spark that exists between partners; the chemistry that makes
them lovers. If there is no spark left in your relationship, your partner may
just feel like a best friend or a roommate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 4: Revenge<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some people have affairs simply because their partner had
committed one first. They do it just to get back at them, to make the one who
cheated first experience just how painful discovering infidelity is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 5: Curiosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sensation seeking may be the reason for some people
committing infidelity. They simply feel for a change, they like novelty. Maybe
before the primary relationship, the partner in question never felt like he/she
got enough time to explore. Or sometimes wanting new experiences constantly is
a personality trait. That is why knowing if <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html?spref=tw">you and your spouse’s personalitiesare compatible </a>is so important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 6: Self
abandonment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Upon reading ‘<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/why-people-cheat_b_3828976.html">Why do people cheat on their partners’</a>, I discovered
another possible reason for cheating. The psychologist there purports that self
abandonment also leads some people to commit adultery. You feel empty within
yourself and so you continually seek after others to fill the void. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reason 8: A lifestyle<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For some people it is like a culture. This seems especially
so with men who cheat. They see their friends doing it and it seems like it is
not a big deal. Sometimes too, that is the kind of behavior someone may observe
in the home while growing up. So it becomes easier to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If your partner loves you but still cheated on you, one of
the above could be the reason. You have to sort it out together. Pay attention
to one another, have fun and explore new things together, always keep it fresh.
Do what it takes to spice up your relationship. Remember if you cannot solve
the problems by yourselves, seek the help of a therapist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">References: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201209/the-eight-reasons-people-cheat-their-partners">The eight reasons that people cheat on their partners<o:p></o:p></a></span></div>
<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201209/the-eight-reasons-people-cheat-their-partners"></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity">Infidelity – Wikipedia<o:p></o:p></a></span></div>
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity"></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/">Infidelity statistics<o:p></o:p></a></span></div>
<a href="http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/"></a><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
You might also like:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html?spref=tw">Exploring personality typs compatibility and romance</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/relationships-sometimes-are.html?spref=tw">Myers-Briggs personality types and compatibility</a><br />
<br />
</div>
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-71081433140854516042014-10-22T11:52:00.000-07:002014-10-22T12:40:14.831-07:00Eight Sure Signs of a Cheater<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you worried that your partner might be cheating on you?
As humans we must have, at some point, encountered this problem whether
directly within our own relationships or indirectly through someone else’s.
Cheating can cause a lot of heartache for the person on the receiving end; it
is a major cause of break ups and divorces. Yet it still happens. So what are
the signs of a cheater? What exactly do we look out for?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AKWmcdvKuSDvS-3qBQWNfyPd0Yydoc1U8sCjWS2LD0pst1E__luhggg6K5fG52Y3X2vnKjDFyyj5KjQssiKo3HMUvBKZYBXq_GJs60bGy32bmuaHmWWCwNo9yi9JK29fdbhrMdOtc8eo/s1600/sad+woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Cheating can cause a lot of heartache." border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AKWmcdvKuSDvS-3qBQWNfyPd0Yydoc1U8sCjWS2LD0pst1E__luhggg6K5fG52Y3X2vnKjDFyyj5KjQssiKo3HMUvBKZYBXq_GJs60bGy32bmuaHmWWCwNo9yi9JK29fdbhrMdOtc8eo/s1600/sad+woman.jpg" height="216" title="" width="320" /></a><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well the first thing is to trust your gut. Your animalistic
instincts will tell you that there is something off about him. You sense that,
somehow, she is different. If you experience this, start looking out for signs
that are typical of cheaters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 1 – Your partner
is suddenly always busy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You realize that scheduling some time with your mate now
becomes an uphill task. He no longer has time to do the simple things you used
to do together. She becomes non-committal – cannot say “yes I will be there” at
such a time. You ask why is that, you might not get a straight answer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 2 – Your partner
showers immediately after coming home<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You notice that hee/she now has a pattern of taking a shower
as soon as they get in. That’s odd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 3 – Your partner
has a loss of interest in sex<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you notice that your mate no longer seems to enjoy
lovemaking anymore with you, it may be because they are getting some from
elsewhere. In general the person begins to complain a lot about sex, they may
introduce new bedroom techniques or he/she simply has no interest. Now let us
be careful. A dip in sex drive can be caused by several things like medication,
age or even stress. So loss of interest in sex does not automatically indicate
cheating. Neither does introducing something new into the bedroom as there is
nothing wrong with a spouse trying to spice up a relationship. The thing is you
have to know your partner and know what kind of relationship you have. Do they
seem really enthusiastic about exploring those new ways with you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 4 – Your partner
seems to always be fussing about something<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may find he/she makes an argument about everything. They
lash out and then leave, almost as if to find solace somewhere else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 5 – Your partner
becomes evasive and defensive<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Simple questions that you used to ask before now seem like an
interrogation to them. Questions like “honey where were you today?” are now
challenging to ask; Either they take offense to it and start screaming at you
or avoid the question altogether. They might even change the subject or turn
the question back around on you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 6 – Your partner
no longer makes you feel as if you are important to them<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You have become irrelevant. Things that you used to do together
he/she now does on their own. You feel left out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 7 – Your partner
puts a lot more effort into appearance<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now obviously there is nothing wrong in wanting to look
good. In fact I love when my man spruces up. The difference is, he cares what I
think. If I get all sexyand hot going out, I want my husband to notice. If your
spouse does not seem to care what you think , they may be doing it to get attention
from somebody else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sign 8 – Your partner
becomes very secretive<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may realize that getting information out of your spouse
is now like pulling teeth. They no longer share certain details of their life
with you. Notice how they keep their phone. If he/she hogs their cell phone [takes
it even to the bathroom], they may be hiding an affair. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOZL8h2LxruZ1KSZ3KJTX21bihLz4gKx1eXgHjewxqlOHYxLoVQOGSik_951o7CTUgnT2qBTc6Hf1DhlU0GPkdr8YXHd9RGnIBzR5ztgb8_gp6CYZSpnX6nnf45pjOupgRqq8cUniQDpld/s1600/lipstick+on+shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Lipstick on his shirt? He might be cheating!" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOZL8h2LxruZ1KSZ3KJTX21bihLz4gKx1eXgHjewxqlOHYxLoVQOGSik_951o7CTUgnT2qBTc6Hf1DhlU0GPkdr8YXHd9RGnIBzR5ztgb8_gp6CYZSpnX6nnf45pjOupgRqq8cUniQDpld/s1600/lipstick+on+shirt.jpg" height="225" title="" width="400" /></a></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you think men and
women display different cheating ways?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I stumbled upon<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>an
article the other day, "<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/galtime/how-men-women-cover-up-cheating_b_5438476.html">How men and women cover up cheating differently</a>". It was very
interesting as I found that, indeed, men and women do display slightly
different cheating ways. I learnt that the major difference between the sexes
is that men who cheat are masters at covering their tracks while women who
cheat worry more about the story behind it. For instance, if a man was out cheating
he might go home and tell his significant other that he was out with his
friends. However, a woman would actually go over to her friend’s house after
her infidelity activity just to make sure that her story matches up. She might
even post facebook pictures just to prove it. Another example is, instead of simply
deleting emails from a cheating partner, a woman might create a new email
account for only such a purpose. Women who cheat work harder and plan more to
cover up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here are some behaviours typical of the sexes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Men:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Display a dip in sex drive<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Takes more interest in appearance<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cannot explain missing money<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Takes phone everywhere <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Has changes in his car [like seat positions or
unknown belongings]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Women:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seem to be spending an extraordinary amount of
time with girlfriends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Focus on their appearance too but seem mostly
concerned with exercising and going to the gym<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Will create new email accounts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you suspect that your partner is cheating make sure you
have enough evidence before accusing them. Cheaters who have no intention of
stopping will simply be more careful if you do not catch them properly. On the
other hand if he/she really is not cheating, then accusing them could cause a
rift in your relationship as your mate will believe that you do not trust them.
However if you are sure, then <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/02/effective-communication-tips-to-improve.html?spref=tw">effective communication </a>is the order of the day.
Try to understand why they are doing it and discuss how you can mend your
relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reference:</span></o:p><br />
<br />
<o:p>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">http://www.askmen.om/top_10/dating_top_ten_60/65b_dating_list.html<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</o:p><br />
<br />
</div>
<a name='more'></a><br />KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-19047691564971843982014-09-23T13:57:00.000-07:002014-10-02T10:31:46.881-07:00Marriage between an 18 and 48 years old, really?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was watching one of my favourite television
court shows today and a situation caught my attention. A married couple’s dispute
was being discussed. The female is 18 years old and the male is 48 years old.
They were having some relationship problems. While listening, I could not help
but think, “what did you expect was going to happen?”</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFa_VycvWob5M6FISE6x6NxZWEdgDsNti_oWTtjL0hVEMrSd2VRaYKHQ2e8nOvWOs76lFK_d5rWZpLvK6QsoTtVOD0G1sMKj-zyXgcZqre-RbGqdel1C6emDL_06YF-czKty5CwjmFwMcY/s1600/teenage+girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Young and pretty, but how ready for marriage is she?" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFa_VycvWob5M6FISE6x6NxZWEdgDsNti_oWTtjL0hVEMrSd2VRaYKHQ2e8nOvWOs76lFK_d5rWZpLvK6QsoTtVOD0G1sMKj-zyXgcZqre-RbGqdel1C6emDL_06YF-czKty5CwjmFwMcY/s1600/teenage+girl.jpg" height="320" title="" width="214" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">First of all there is a huge <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/01/impact-of-age-differences-on.html">agedifference </a>between them; that alone in itself brings about its own problems. That
is fine for persons who are mature enough and sufficiently prepared to take
those challenges on. However, my problem is not really the <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/01/impact-of-age-differences-on.html">age disparity problems</a>. My
contention is the fact that the girl is barely an adult. Does she have enough
experience to first of all deal with all the rigors of a long term
relationship, in addition to the challenges of a huge age difference relationship? That is way too
hefty for her. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At that stage of life we tend to
want to explore and have fun. We tend to be a littlee silly and make stupid
decisions. Mind you, everybody matures at different rates; I mean, you probably
were more mature than I was at that age. But the fact of the matter is, she should
take some time to develop herself, marriage is not running away. The more self
secure one is, the more they have to bring to the table in a relationship. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for the man, well I do not know
what he was thinking. She is 18, he should not be surprised if she behaves like
the child that she is.</span><br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p> </o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would really like your opinion on
this one. What do you think?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-5471803008535268322014-07-28T11:04:00.001-07:002014-07-28T11:04:23.601-07:00Do I Need to Change Name After Marriage?
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, you have done it. You did the deed. You got married! All
the intense preparations, grueling rehearsals and premarital jitters are over. But
alas! Another problem rears its head, something else to contemplate. What about
changing name after marriage? Do I have to?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everyone knows, it is tradition. When a woman gets married she
drops her last name and adopts that of her husband. It is based on the idea that
when a man takes a wife and they have children, they form a family. The family
should be recognizable by one name, their last name or family name. So, because
it was a male dominated society, the entire family would adopt the man’s last
name.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxof6dZTh5IwQcXO__urTsLl9ROQxK1XftoF4UZeXeAdo-109TZmH-bMnCXbmHWKBMVWnaH08raEwimXtLR5yaAnS7qE_xSYEFmGdVAR271FWeL8ZdSj4Gsvc5gcq9V2pQGGWGnR5tcqf/s1600/woman+thinking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="After wedding, woman still has to think about changing last name" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxof6dZTh5IwQcXO__urTsLl9ROQxK1XftoF4UZeXeAdo-109TZmH-bMnCXbmHWKBMVWnaH08raEwimXtLR5yaAnS7qE_xSYEFmGdVAR271FWeL8ZdSj4Gsvc5gcq9V2pQGGWGnR5tcqf/s1600/woman+thinking.jpg" height="320" title="Woman thinking" width="214" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, times have changed. Women now take pride in the
many strides they have made throughout history. Strides like the ability to now
vote and their increased presence in the workplace; there are female presidents
and prime ministers everywhere now for heaven’s sake! Isn’t changing your last
name against your will to that of your husband’s still a remnant of the out
dated male dominated society?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also, what about the whole issue of identity? Some women
believe that changing your name after marriage changes who you are. You were
born with a particular name. You are used to it, you love it. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So why should you be forced into changing your name after
marriage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suppose I do not like his last
name? Really, all I signed up for was to love him, not necessarily his last
name! Women should not be forced into changing last name after marriage. Some women
scream, “Why doesn’t he take my name”? The point is gone are the days when the
man controls everything. We are capable of making our own decisions. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are 6ways in which women deal with the name change
issue nowadays. Namely:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Simply keep their own name – make no change at
all</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Keep their own name in professional situations
only – otherwise they use their husband’s name</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fully adopt their husband’s name<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- their own name becomes their maiden name</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hyphenate their own name with their husband’s –
all of that becomes their last name</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Use their own name as their middle name and
adopt their husband’s last name –they have to be willing to drop their middle
name</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ask their husband to take their name – the
entire family name becomes that of the woman’s</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whatever the choice, I believe it is ultimately the bride’s
decision. Living in modern times means we are afforded a choice. We do not have
to feel compelled to follow tradition and accept the last name of our groom.
Neither do we need to feel belittled by feminists who do not believe in taking
the name at all. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had several considerations when I was making my decision.
The issue of identity, the fact that I do like the idea of my family being
recognized collectively under one name and of course tradition. My first choice
was to hyphenate but after trying that out for a while in colloquial settings,
I bid that idea goodbye. Both our names are too long and are combustible
together. So officially I took his name but I still use my maiden name in
certain simple settings like on social media. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The point is, however, it was my decision. I am proud of my
decision. Do not allow anyone to oblige you into doing what they want. What
decision did you make? </span><br />
<br />
<br />
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-2974127649403612862014-07-14T16:20:00.000-07:002014-07-20T10:42:21.557-07:00Myers Briggs Personality Types and compatibility<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Relationships sometimes are problematic
because of personality types differences. Knowing a little more about your
partner’s nature will not only help you both with your communication but it
will also help you comprehend their behavior and how best they function. The
Myers Briggs personality types profile is a more detailed model than the <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html">fourpersonality types </a>model discussed before. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could help couples with the task of
understanding each other.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IM3a6gfs4L_IphwL4_SdWLFTGlOrGAx9KNFM9f-9jVK8GKYakzvKfBrvUlMnS4iqypWZ41m7wbisUCSFwWWTVgczAKI6mW2Gnsonc19zgi1PDLCJmecNfGi-rszVZ5rWwVZuTTM7ew5k/s1600/couple+strolling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Understanding personality types can help your relationship" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IM3a6gfs4L_IphwL4_SdWLFTGlOrGAx9KNFM9f-9jVK8GKYakzvKfBrvUlMnS4iqypWZ41m7wbisUCSFwWWTVgczAKI6mW2Gnsonc19zgi1PDLCJmecNfGi-rszVZ5rWwVZuTTM7ew5k/s1600/couple+strolling.jpg" height="213" title="Understanding personality types can help your relationship" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Myers Briggs personality types
theory was developed on the premise that our natural tendencies can be placed
in four categories or scales. These categories are:</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Extraversion/Introversion [E/I] - our flow of
energy, whether we are stimulated inwardly or outwardly</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sensorial/Intuitive [S/N] - Our method of
gathering information about the surroundings, whether we rely on our senses or
instincts</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thinking/Feeling [T/F] - our preferred method of
decision making, whether we make decisions based on logical findings or
subjective, personal<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>value systems</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Judging/Perceiving [J/P] – our daily way of
dealing with the world, whether we prefer organization and structure as opposed
to a more casual approach. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The theory purports that our personality
types are based on our preference in each of the four categories stated above.
They use the word preference as it is not uncommon for any given person to display
characteristics that are atypical of him. </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In fact it is
expected that, as we grow and experience various aspects of life,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we learn to adapt and perform other
personality functions. However, we tend to gravitate to our strongest, most
dominant<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>characteristics. Hence, our personality
types can be predicted based on our normal tendencies. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Choosing either one or the other in each
of the categories gives rise to the Myers Briggs 16 personality types. For
example, ISFJ represents someone whose personality preferences are
introversion, sensorial, feeling and Judging. There are many tests available online
that can help persons determine their personality type based on this theory.
However, what about the Myers Briggs personality types and relationships? How
does it help with determining compatibility?</span></div>
<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
Myers Briggs relationship compatibility</h2>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">According to this model, personality
types can mostly predict how we interact with others and the world on a regular
basis. However, when it comes to attraction, our instincts seem to play more of
an integral role. That is, we seem to become attracted to persons more similar
to us on the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>S/N scale.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Obviously though, having a relationship
goes way beyond mere attraction. As discussed in my <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html">previous article </a>on
personality types compatibility, research shows that happier relationships tend
to exist between persons who Have more similar personality traits. In terms of
the Myers Briggs personality types, the more dominant functions the couple has
in common, the happier their relationship. The last three scales see to play a
complex role in determining long term relationship happiness. However, it was
more common to find couples with just two similar type preferences. The more
similar a couple’s dominant functions, the more they speak each other’s
language and the better they communicate.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However with that said, opposites do attract.
It is not uncommon to see an extravert pairing with an introvert and a judger
pairing with a perceiver. Sometimes what is different is alluring and
intriguing. Also, maybe it is in an attempt to strengthen our weaknesses why we
look for partners with opposite personas. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Knowing you and your partner’s
personality typees could really explain some issues you both might have. –Read
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/exploring-personality-types.html">this article </a>to get more information on how people’s natural characteristics
affect relationship compatibility. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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References<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="http://www.typefinder.com/story/compatibility-and-your-myers-briggs-personality-type"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.typefinder.com/story/compatibility-and-your-myers-briggs-personality-type</span></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://www.personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html">https://www.personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br /></div>
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-31633213963632225552014-07-07T14:05:00.000-07:002014-07-24T11:06:14.087-07:00Exploring Personality Types Compatibility and Romance <span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ever find yourself wondering why is it some people have long
lasting, happy relationships while others seem to bounce around and not find
the right partner? Or have you ever noticed that some couples can seemingly work
through their issues quietly while others tend to be loud and bickering all the
time? The answer may lie in the difference in personality types within these
couples. If we understood a little more about the different natures and how
they naturally react in various situations, then we would have fewer clashes of
personality types in relationships. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJKkp78LG75nYc0QkYpIizTuyVlBa9u-Wtuv-MuxaLatIxyO1EY4aL9SkT0ZJwTacauco3osoAufL2nefLFxFhCQkcQ4qgyNK_brAYKssvFhQP1smJrs1F8GKv6yfYuHn6WAV643QyDKv/s1600/love+couple.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A happy couple" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJKkp78LG75nYc0QkYpIizTuyVlBa9u-Wtuv-MuxaLatIxyO1EY4aL9SkT0ZJwTacauco3osoAufL2nefLFxFhCQkcQ4qgyNK_brAYKssvFhQP1smJrs1F8GKv6yfYuHn6WAV643QyDKv/s1600/love+couple.png" height="320" title="A happy couple" width="274" /></a>
Why look at
personality types and relationships?<o:p></o:p></h2>
<br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Statistics show that persons who are very happy<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in their relationships or marriages tend to
have the most optimistic outlook on life and are more likely to have inner harmony.
There are three factors that are found to be most related with happy couples:
good communication, similar values and interests, and the capacity to solve
disagreements calmly and openly. All three of these factors have to do with
personality types. A clash in characters can give rise to problems in any of
these areas. So </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">how can we get there? How can we have a happy love life? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well one way to get there is through exploring the personality
types of both you and your partner. First, you will understand yourself a
little better. You learn why you tend to perceive the world in a particular way
and why you react to different things and situations in the way you do. Through
personality exploration, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you can
identify your natural weaknesses [so you can make conscious efforts to limit
the negative effects they can have on your life] and strengths [how to use them
to your advantage]. After all, developing the best you is much healthier than
trying to fit yourself into other personality types. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then, you will understand your spouse better too. Suddenly
it becomes clear why it is that you and your spouse can never agree on some
things; you see the same situation yet you come to two completely different
conclusions. Understanding the innate characters of our significant others will
make us less tempted to try to change them. Rather, we would have a discussion
about how to best work out a problem.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
What are the
personality types?<o:p></o:p></h2>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over the years, several personality theories have been
proposed. So, for the purposes of understanding personality types compatibility
in relationships, let us look at The main four personality types. I will
explore the <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/07/relationships-sometimes-are.htm">Myers Briggs personality types </a>model in another article. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The main four
personality types<o:p></o:p></h3>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQyBIW-SJLqa-QUh0Mi_kuiFYRhGqXZSDSXSC9ViYCT-pJ63HnjjFEhtosYhfYAddnWK6E1j_txx96krSspDI6MDTAFAiYJJ02KfwPZD-FtjICDKnLtdXP9fs86T9nqoWXSkXCOj0Vt22/s1600/personality+colours+pic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Diagram of how the four personality types interact on the extraversion/introversion and organizational/relational scales" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQyBIW-SJLqa-QUh0Mi_kuiFYRhGqXZSDSXSC9ViYCT-pJ63HnjjFEhtosYhfYAddnWK6E1j_txx96krSspDI6MDTAFAiYJJ02KfwPZD-FtjICDKnLtdXP9fs86T9nqoWXSkXCOj0Vt22/s1600/personality+colours+pic.png" height="356" title="How the four personality types typically behave on the scales shown" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This theory was first put forward by the greek physician
Hippocrates who believed that people’s personality types <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>differed due to certain body fluids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The theory has been further developed since. Sometimes
this theory is also referred to as the four temperaments which speaks to that
part of personality concerned with the predominant mood pattern of a person.
Whatever it is though, it is powerful in helping with the comprehension of our
character differences. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The four personality types are sanguine, choleric,
phlegmatic and melancholic. Different colours and animals have also now become
associated with each of these. Firstly though, let us understand that no one
can be boxed into any one personality category. Yes, we have one dominant
personality type and that is the type we generally use to describe ourselves.
However, our day to day disposition tends to be an amalgamation of that
dominant one and others. The table below shows the characteristics, strengths
and weaknesses particular to each type. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcJAIvu-2zsCjvcmSrkZw2XK0c9EAeK0OS66_ZTqhazx7dlsFTzjBofrvWOP7mOurtWXStOfV0nEf0RsT5hzpiUSeX3dzHal7i-PU6Xx5NNhBwLpKujibK3hiXCpnmg8Z2ygIplQNYe8M/s1600/personality+table+pic1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="The characteristics of the four personality types" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcJAIvu-2zsCjvcmSrkZw2XK0c9EAeK0OS66_ZTqhazx7dlsFTzjBofrvWOP7mOurtWXStOfV0nEf0RsT5hzpiUSeX3dzHal7i-PU6Xx5NNhBwLpKujibK3hiXCpnmg8Z2ygIplQNYe8M/s1600/personality+table+pic1.png" height="640" title="" width="606" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></b></div>
<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
How personality types
determine compatibility?<o:p></o:p></h2>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In general, it is found that the longest and happiest
relationships occur between persons of similar personality types. That is
understandable as the more similar each mate’s nature is to the other, the more
common interests and goals they may share. Also, communication and disagreement
solving becomes less labored. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, it is also common for opposites to attract
[sanguines with melancholics, cholerics with phlegmatics]. We Find what is
different attractive. It is also purported that we may mate with persons of
opposite personas in an attempt to make up for our own weaknesses. The trick is
to understand the dissimilar characters and find a way to work with them for a
successful relationship. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Obviously sanguines, represented by the blue dolphin, can be fun. They will pump a lot of
spontaneity in a relationship. Remember though, they are easily bored so if
they are not getting enough stimulation at home they might just look elsewhere.
Couples with sanguine women sometimes experience problems. As she is naturally extraverted
and We are used to the man being the dominant figure, a woman being so outgoing
might step on some toes. Sanguine women, in their quest for fun and variety,
may be Inclined to seek out men who are emotionally unavailable and a
challenge. Therefore if such women want serious relationships, they should be
careful of their own tendencies to attract the wrong mate. On a whole, if you
are dating a sanguine, you must prepare for their impulsive, disorganized
nature.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2-pgd5t9_-HiGw9DX9DiT_jj4_P5F6DkfWNNai6mULgm081ejQpqzybjZSkNCqSv2oczOudgb4LGAdhR1Hd5JblQ4fzsHJL4cWeoa0lhFuscqWcGxnoc3-97PfTGechG6fZWRwmAWB8m/s1600/blue+dolphin.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="The sanguine is as playful and sociable as the dolphin" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2-pgd5t9_-HiGw9DX9DiT_jj4_P5F6DkfWNNai6mULgm081ejQpqzybjZSkNCqSv2oczOudgb4LGAdhR1Hd5JblQ4fzsHJL4cWeoa0lhFuscqWcGxnoc3-97PfTGechG6fZWRwmAWB8m/s1600/blue+dolphin.png" height="177" title="The sanguine is as playful and sociable as the dolphin" width="200" /></a></div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cholerics, represented by the red shark, exude dominance, which also translates into their
romantic relationships. The females may experience issues<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>because of their dominant nature as it is
more common for men to be in control. Cholerics must be mindful of their
tempers and must know that the opinions of their partners matter. They have to
be careful not to drive their partner away with their constant need to argue and
their constant need for significance. A choleric’s mate will also have to give
some leeway for the stubborn ways of their partner.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Phlegmatics, represented by the yellow whale, have to watch their tendency to always want to
help. They are always helping and never having their own needs met. They may
also neglect, and therefore lose,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>their
spouses in the process. An outgoing person may feel closed in with such a
spouse as the phlegmatic prefers small gatherings of people they know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Melancholics, represented by the green urchin, may initially come off as stand offish, so you
have to work a little harder to get to know them. They take a while before they
trust others. They may be stereotyped as overly critical and non-adventurous. Therefore, such persons have to work on keeping their mates interested. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes
persons with this personality type can make their spouses feel as if they can
never get anything right. This will lead to resentment and conflict. So the
melancholic has to be careful of that. Also, because they are sensitive and
prone to depression, a melancholic’s mate has to be prepared to help them
through their rough days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personality types compatibility is very important to
discuss. It can give some insight into what is happening in our relationships.
Have you figured out your personality type yet?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p>References</o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><a href="http://www.typefinder.com/story/compatibility-and-your-myers-briggs-personality-type"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.typefinder.com/story/compatibility-and-your-myers-briggs-personality-type</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><a href="http://www.thetransformedsoul.com/additional-studies/miscellaneous-studies/the-four-human-temperaments"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.thetransformedsoul.com/additional-studies/miscellaneous-studies/the-four-human-temperaments</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span><br />
<br />KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-73745059734648795612014-06-07T20:30:00.000-07:002014-06-08T10:43:34.725-07:00I Want to Propose to my Man - What Will They Say?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, it is 2014 but we still grapple with questions like “should
a woman propose to a man?” Is this a valid question<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in this day and age? Or, are you one of them who
does not understand what all the fuss is about? </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well the most popular reason why many people do not
believe<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in a woman proposing to a man is
because it is against tradition. The man should be your knight in shining
armour, get down on one knee and propose. He should be a gentleman and ask for
her hand in marriage with all the bells and whistles he can afford; the whole nine
yards of romance. I’ve <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>got to be honest,
I love the romance of it all!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdscgCi_YJJ_A502i32881VGJKrK2jGBExT84YotobsJV87Iu7eH85jqjXxZ0-cQ1MyGaIXT9bkpCuXSu3REFMHPgg_wIChwVf_60YGNd_AjKcioLafqxjHtsCxcF5QXDMQ39febNggZQC/s1600/man+kneeling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Man kneeling down and asking for his woman's hand in marriage" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdscgCi_YJJ_A502i32881VGJKrK2jGBExT84YotobsJV87Iu7eH85jqjXxZ0-cQ1MyGaIXT9bkpCuXSu3REFMHPgg_wIChwVf_60YGNd_AjKcioLafqxjHtsCxcF5QXDMQ39febNggZQC/s1600/man+kneeling.jpg" height="358" title="The traditional wedding proposal" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Romantic couple proposal for wedding by Epsos.de, cc-by-2.0, via <a href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Romantic_Couple_Proposal_for_Wedding.jpg?uselang=en-gb">Wikimedia commons</a>Source: <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="4" class="toccolours vevent mw-content-ltr" style="direction: ltr; width: 100%;"><tbody>
<tr style="vertical-align: top;"><td class="fileinfo-paramfield" id="fileinfotpl_src"> </td><td><a class="external free" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/36495803@N05/6943704482/" rel="nofollow">http://www.flickr.com/photos/36495803@N05/6943704482/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also, there are some that say that a woman should never
propose to a man because later on in the relationship/marriage she will be
expecting her man to take charge of the family. Him proposing is a sign as to
whether or not he is willing to do that, or if he is capable of doing that. If
he has not asked, it probably means that he is not ready. You do not want to be
in a relationship with a man who is not ready for commitment and a family. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Others also believe that a woman should not propose because the
man might resent having the opportunity taken away from him. Remember, it is deeply
rooted in tradition for the man to propose so he might feel emasculated if you
do it. But, should he?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, this is the 21<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup> century and things do
change. Many people now believe that there is nothing wrong with a woman
proposing to her man. If you know that you have been together for a long time
and you think it is time to settle down and he is taking too long, why not ask
yourself? At least you will know where your relationship stands after you do.
If he says no, then maybe the both of you do not see the relationship in the
same way, maybe he is someone who never wants to be married. The rejection will
be hard but better to know now than to invest anymore precious time into
something that is going nowhere. Interestingly, if we think about it, that is exactly
what the man goes through too when he is about to propose. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some people believe that women taking the reins in wedding proposals
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>would help to cut down on the number of cohabiting
relationships we see now. It would promote more committed relationships where
children are better supported<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in a stable
and loving family. </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg147ik8AtLlXzMr6313zwFRqNc0LARrN13CBTfEJdomZfCh4uiRZyN4oFy9otyVtamLbJD3i6wO1rZ2Ur-1a48MURJWTKVW_732TzEryNQroDfUDcLJ6Q9GXYK9IJQuCjxmfNYPMtA__i2/s1600/engagement+rings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Picture of two beautiful engagement rings" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg147ik8AtLlXzMr6313zwFRqNc0LARrN13CBTfEJdomZfCh4uiRZyN4oFy9otyVtamLbJD3i6wO1rZ2Ur-1a48MURJWTKVW_732TzEryNQroDfUDcLJ6Q9GXYK9IJQuCjxmfNYPMtA__i2/s1600/engagement+rings.jpg" height="213" title="Engagement rings" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Engagement rings by Ygor Oliveira, cc-by-2.0, via <a href="http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Engagement_rings_photo_by_Ygor_Oliveira.jpg?uselang=en-gb">Wikimedia commons</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What about the ring? Are you willing to buy the ring? Hey,
let us face it, if we are going to make the proposal, then we must also buy the
ring! You think so? </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personally, I love the idea of a man sweeping a woman off her
feet with all the romance in the world and proposing. Yes, it is traditional
and I like it. However, I do believe that there is nothing stopping a woman
from proposing to her man. If you see a situation that needs to be dealt with,
deal with it. More power to you! </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<br />
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-49919107241433131002014-05-21T19:06:00.000-07:002014-06-08T11:16:44.535-07:00Recognizing Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think abuse is only physical? Think again. Often times when
we hear of domestic abuse we immediately picture a battered woman struggling
with the fear that her partner has instilled in her; but beware! The scars left
behind from domestic abuse are not always visible to the naked eye. Many
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2005_07_07/file0002105100289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Woman slumped over a ledge looking dejected or depressed" border="0" src="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2005_07_07/file0002105100289.jpg" height="235" title="Woman looking dejected or depressed" width="320" /></a></div>
people, both men and women, sit in abusive relationships and do not even realize
that they are being abused. These persons might be experiencing emotional abuse
and the effects of this run deep psychologically. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
</div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal">
What is
emotional abuse?</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_abuse">Wikipedia</a>, emotional abuse, also called
psychological or mental abuse, is a type of abuse where a person subjects
another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma including anxiety,
chronic depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. In terms of intimate
relationships, there are spouses who will tailor their actions in a way so as
to manipulate the emotions of their partners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To do this, they employ tactics such as fear, guilt, shame, intimidation
and isolation on their victims. Emotional abuse can be just as or sometimes
even more damaging than physical abuse. The scars are not easily healed and may
forever live with a victim. However, the first step to change is recognizing
the abuse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
</div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal">
Why do they
do this?</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Simple. To gain amd maintain control over you. Why teach you
to drive when he can take you wherever he wants you to go whenever he wants you
to go? Why let you help make any major decisions when it might inspire you to
gain independence? They have to he in control, have to dominate. Sometimes they
are insecure and use psychological abuse to try to make sure that their fear
does not come true. For instance, a woman who is fearful that her man might
leave her may try to tear at his self esteem by telling him that he is fat and ugly.
With his low self esteem, he just might stay in line and not seek after any
other female. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The strategies that these mental abusers use are said to be
similar to those which prison guards use on prisoners. The guards know that it
is difficult to overpower and control prisoners physically for any meaningful
amount of time. So, they attack them psychologically. It is in this same way that
emotional abuse victims feel like prisoners of war. They are reduced to having
only animal level concerns; just surviving. No space for independent thought or
activity. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2004_08_30/file000608980205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Man, leaning on a tree, with far away look in his eyes" border="0" src="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2004_08_30/file000608980205.jpg" height="240" title="Men get emotionally abused too" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Emotional abuse is not prejudiced to any one group. It
appears in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It even breaks the
barriers of ethnicity and economic status. It also spans over all age
groups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Men are mostly found to be abusers but do not be
fooled, women do it too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
</div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal">
The signs
of emotional abuse</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are some of the signs you can look out for when trying
to analyze for emotional abuse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoNormal">
If your partner:</h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Always threatens you or others close to you,
such as family, to get you to do what you are told</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Constantly belittles you and criticizes your
looks, weight, dress</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Yells and humiliates you</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Discourages any independent activity such as
work, school or going out with friends</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Always accuses you of being unfaithful if you
speak to someone of the opposite sex</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
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</span></span></span>Forces you to perform sexual activities which
you are uncomfortable with to prove your love or withholds sex</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Uses the children too; undermines your authority
or threatens to leave with them if you do not do what you are told</div>
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</span></span></span>Maintains complete control over the finances</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Makes all major decisions like where to live or
where the children go to school</div>
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</span></span></span>Constantly shifts blame to you </div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Manipulates and sets<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>up even family members against you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoNormal">
If you:</h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Have a constant fear for your partner</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Experience feelings of self loathing,
helplessness and desperation</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Try to avoid certain topics so as not to anger
your spouse</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Lack confidence; feel like you cannot make it
without your partner</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Feel stressed out but not sure why</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Feel like there is no way out</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Wondering if you are the one going crazy</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2004_08_14/file0001946946654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A woman crying" border="0" src="http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/a/anitapatterson/preview/fldr_2004_08_14/file0001946946654.jpg" height="240" title="Abuse hurts" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can imagine that emotional abuse must be a terrible
experience to go through. Mental abuse plays with your psyche. It slowly chips
away at your self esteem and autonomy. All that is left is a shadow of
yourself. Someone who is incapable of thinking rationally. Someone who lacks
confidence and has no good sense of self worth. As a result, you suffer from
anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness and loneliness. If you recognize these
signs in yourself or someone else, seek help. The quicker you get help, the
faster you will regain your life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
For further reading, you could check out this article I found <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-Emotional-Abuse">How to deal with emotional abuse</a>. It has a very comprehensive look at how to handle and cope with such abuse. </div>
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<a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm">http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm</a></div>
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<br />
Photo credit: images courtesy of <a href="http://morguefile.com/">morguefile</a><br />
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<br /></div>
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-33718905929164592382012-02-10T09:19:00.000-08:002014-05-25T10:28:31.786-07:00Effective Communication Tips To Improve Your Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/0.morguefile.com.mirror/imageData/public/files/k/kesh/preview/fldr_2005_07_25/file0001575311785.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/0.morguefile.com.mirror/imageData/public/files/k/kesh/preview/fldr_2005_07_25/file0001575311785.jpg" height="256" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are several factors that can help a relationship between
two people keep afloat. One such very important factor that must be done
correctly is communication. If the communication in a relationship is not
effective or poor, then that relationship may not last very long as several
problems will arise. Here are some important tips for effective communication. </span></div>
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1] Try to stay on the topic </h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If a conflict arises between two
people in a relationship, while discussing it, try to remain focused on the
matter at hand and not stray and bring up things from yesteryear. Bringing up
old stories tends to cloud the whole communication process and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sometimes you do not even remember what you
were initially discussing and, hence, no effective problem solving takes place.
</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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2] Pay attention </h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Listen to what your partner is saying.
Really listen, do not just pick out bits and pieces and think of a come back.
Instead, try to listen and understand their point of view, try to step into their
shoes as effective communication requires persons in a relationship to
empathize with each other. Also, observe your partner’s body language, as humans
we communicate not only with our mouths but also through expression. When your
spouse is speaking, do not interrupt, give feedback and show that you
understand what was said. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
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<a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/0.morguefile.com.mirror/imageData/public/files/s/solracgi2nd/preview/fldr_2005_10_28/file000297667593.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/0.morguefile.com.mirror/imageData/public/files/s/solracgi2nd/preview/fldr_2005_10_28/file000297667593.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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3] Watch your reaction </h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Make sure your partner knows that
you are interested in the communication process. If a criticism about you is
made, do not respond with defensiveness. Instead, try to understand why your
partner thinks so of you. By taking this approach, you gain valuable
information about yourself that you probably did not know. Take responsibility
for your actions and work on fixing<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your
flaws that interfere with the relationship.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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4] Be calm </h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do not be
argumentative or verbally abusive. This is not effective and will get you
nowhere, communication is not a blame game. For example, instead of saying you
did…try to start sentences with I feel frustrated when you….This route will
spark less contention and the least amount of arguing you have during the
communication process , the more effective itwill be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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5] The big one, compromise </h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The aim of communication is to
diffuse contention by coming up with solutions that are satisfying forboth
persons in a relationship. Do not be afraid of discussing the complicated
issues; attack them together, brainstorm together for effective solutions. In
order for everyone to be happy, each person will have to give and take. </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember that the goal of effective communication is mutual
understanding and finding solutions that will suit both partners in a relationship.
So go ahead, take it slow. Control your temper and follow the tips to ensure a
happy, loving and long lasting relationship. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If you have used these tips with success or if you have any other suggestions, don't be afraid to leave your comments. Remember it's a learning process for all of us. <br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/healthycomm.htm">http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/healthycomm.htm</a></span>KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-55799223615177948212012-01-30T15:24:00.000-08:002014-10-02T11:26:55.899-07:00The Impact of Age Differences on Relationships<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age is just a number. When it comes to relationships, does
that really hold true? Not sure, the question of relationships<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> with age gaps </span>invoke such strong
feelings in people that it can make life for the persons in the relationship very
uncomfortable. It can work, but the couple must be prepared to deal with the impact
of potential problems that come along with relationships with age differences. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<h2>
Maturity</h2>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first of the potential relationship problems the couple must consider is maturity. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships">The age disparity </a>between the two means that they are at different stages of their
lives as, of course over time, we learn more and begin to want different things
out of life. So they will be prone to clashing when it comes to handling certain
matters. For example, how they manage finances or their lifestyle. The younger
of the two would probably be more frivolous with spending and may want to paint
the town red every night. Whilst the older might be a little bit more cautious
with money as, having<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>gone further in
life, he/she has learnt the benefits of proper budgeting. The older companion
may not want to party every night either.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7z0_MqF6rwIOxuiW3bzxxy9kJ1LAuxal5XA9utUeTcKwjRDEg3yIRTbQ0RG4q98gI4yYxvSruDKxTD4gdSE0mAA45r7hetdrWNCZSYmywNnJgiE-kUPi5-2wkwL7gnIs-QxoXIqM1Tw0r/s1600/party.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="The younger of age difference couple may just want to party" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7z0_MqF6rwIOxuiW3bzxxy9kJ1LAuxal5XA9utUeTcKwjRDEg3yIRTbQ0RG4q98gI4yYxvSruDKxTD4gdSE0mAA45r7hetdrWNCZSYmywNnJgiE-kUPi5-2wkwL7gnIs-QxoXIqM1Tw0r/s1600/party.png" height="213" title="Party!" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<h2>
Goals</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Secondly, the couple in the age difference relationship
should consider each other’s goals. Again, because of the fact that they are at
different stages of their lives, their goals might not coincide. Matters of children,
marriage and retirement can present much disagreement. For instance a woman in
her 30s might want to get married and have children right away. Her maternity
clock is ticking, she may feel like she is out of time. On the other hand, her
younger partner might not be so keen on <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>starting
a family: he feels like he has a lot of time before that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and now is the time to explore and have fun.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<h2>
The perceptions of others</h2>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thirdly, the perceptions of others. When you might be able to
manage the disparaging comments of strangers, you might not be as prepared for
the impact of scathing stares and remarks of family and friends. If the older
partner has made a good life for himself/herself, the younger might be viewed
as a gold digger in the sight of family and friends. If children are involved,
they might not be very warm to the idea at first either: if you think about it really,
it is hard to see someone almost the same age as you try to be a mother or
father figure to you. They will put up resistance. The impact of others’ perceptions on relationships with age gaps can be stressful. It puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
The couple may begin to blame each other and doubt what they have. Thus, adding to the relationship problems. </span><br />
<br />
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<em></em><br /></div>
<em></em><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
This is a couple with a 32-years age gap. Listen to how they make it work.<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/jV4qbolWWY8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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</h2>
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</h2>
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Types of friends</h2>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lastly, the other thing that may be a problem is the fact
that the couple may not have friends that they can both hang out with. This
goes back to maturity levels. If there is a major difference in age and maturity
between the two groups then there could be a problem. One set may like
jazz<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>while the other group would want to
visit the club and enjoy themselves with pop music. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All these factors can cause significant strain on the
relationship. So, if two persons with major age differences decide to enter into
a committed and loving relationship, they must look at these relationship issues squarely
and decide<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>how best to deal with them. In an attempt
to solve them there is one thing that is very important right across the board,
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/02/effective-communication-tips-to-improve.html">conversation</a>. They must come together and discuss things that they can control;
example, what is the timetable for children and marriage and how to deal with
retirement and finances. Compromise is the order the day. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for the things that they cannot necessarily control, they
have to make a concerted effort to deal with it as the perceptions of others will
never go away. They can try talking to family and friends about their reasons for
entering a relationship with age difference, but ultimately<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>no one can control what others think. They just
have to be strong and try to surround themselves with those who do support them.
It is a difficult road to start travelling but, if you are in it for the long
haul, it can be done. </span></div>
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</div>
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For further reading: </h2>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</h2>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-people-enter-into-relationships.html?spref=tw">Why
people enter into relationships with age differences</a></h2>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2014/09/marriage-between-18-and-48-years-old.html?spref=tw">Marriage between an 18 and 48 years old, really?</a></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/02/effective-communication-tips-to-improve.html?spref=tw">Effective communication tips to improve your relationships</a></div>
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</div>
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</div>
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-52523090178932663142012-01-30T08:40:00.000-08:002014-05-24T15:08:45.298-07:00Why people Enter Into Relationships With Age Differences<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cougar [a relatively new term in this context] and sugar daddy are words that are becoming common place these days. More and more persons are entering relationships with major age differences, more and more are becoming ok with it. Not everyone, though. Seeing people together who are obviously of completely different age groups can invoke very strong feelings in persons looking on. I think that that is mostly because we do not understand it; well quite frankly, if my child came home with a partner who is twice his age I am not sure I would understand it either. So, apart from the negative reasons [like for money], why do people enter into relationships with major age differences or gaps?</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Cougars are natural predators in the wild. The term, however, is now used colloquially to describe a woman dating a younger man</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strike><a href="http://www.tigerace.com/"><img alt="a cougar laying motionless" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/x5MW0I" height="300" title="A cougar" width="400" /></a></strike></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">An obvious reason that everyone would probably guessis physical
attractiveness and sexual capabilities. Yes younger persons do not have sagging
skin and wrinkles, drooping breasts, grey hair [at least most of them do not]
and are certainly vore vivacious and full of energy for sexual purposes. Not
everyone wants to grow old and grey with their partner, some prefer to look at
young blood to help them keep young themselves.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another reason is the commitment factor. I am not saying
that everyone in relationships with age differences are not committed to one
another and do not plan to have long lasting relationships. However, there are
persons who enter these relationships just because they do not have to worry
about commitment. They simply want a companion for the time being to travel,
explore and have fun with.</span></div>
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://mrg.bz/6EjqCM" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A professionally dressed woman sipping a glass of wine" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/6EjqCM" height="320" title="A career woman" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also, people enter into relationships with age differences
for flexibility. For instance, a man who is already grounded in his career
would probably not want to be bothered with a woman who is also already set in
her way of life. By choosing a younger partner, he finds someone who may be
willing to go anywhere his business would take him. With the rise in women
taking their place in the working world, women are becoming more and more
business oriented and less and less traditional. Such a woman would want a
partner who would be willing to play more of a part in the household. A younger
man would be more ideal <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for such a
purpose as, again, they are not heavy set in their ways and are more easily
adjusted owing to cultural differences nowadays. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh and, of course, let us not forget about love. Two persons
just become very fond of each other and decide that, in spite of all the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>negative comments and <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/01/impact-of-age-differences-on.html">potential problems withage difference relationships</a>, they are going to be together. I mean, hey, love
is love right?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you know someone who is in a relationship with a major
age difference or age gap, do not be too quick to judge. Maybe we should look at the reasons
for such a move and see if it fits the person that we know. Everyone is
entitled to their opinion and not everyone will be the same and want the same
things out of life. Just hope, though, that they are prepared to deal with <a href="http://talkrelationship.blogspot.com/2012/01/impact-of-age-differences-on.html">theimpact of age difference on relationships</a>. </span></div>
<a href="http://www.tigerace.com/">www.tigerace.com</a><br />
<br />
Check out this article: <a href="http://senior-dating.factoidz.com/womans-motivation-to-date-older-man/">Woman's Motivation to date Older Man </a>KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-76246029278306740652012-01-18T09:47:00.000-08:002014-06-07T15:05:58.419-07:00How to heal and Cope After a Break Up<a href="http://mrg.bz/My0vrM" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Woman covering face with handsand crying" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/My0vrM" height="213" title="Breaking up is hurtful" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Breaking up can be very taxing on us all. After investing so
much into a relationshipand/or marriage, it is hard to see it melt away.
Sometimes even when we know the relationship we are in is not healthy, the fear
of breaking up is so strong we simply cannot admit that going or separate ways
is probably the best thing to do. Here are some tips to help with the healing and
coping transition of breaking up.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">1] First thing, you must grieve. During a relationship we
tend to become co-dependent on each other. So after breaking up we mourn the
loss of companionship, support [whether it be financial, social, intellectual
or emotional], and hopes and dreams. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is hard but you must face it and deal with the pain. The pain and the
withstanding thereof is exactly what gives us the stamina to go on and think of
new beginnings. Denying it only delays the reality. You must understand also that,
during your period of mourning, your feelings will fluctuate; that is normal. ,
</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmSbm1Ruypd1oER7t5SDSVI2Vkys7bsMtZ2NYz8z18eVpd_dQYnr5E7XM_vzQtE81ehnodx-GBXvVGFOjDu__5yoltNPUXiUTQpv4seJNs40itb-fxii1EMiJ-MbanNCK_eIAAicwdccp/s1600/staring+into+sunset.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Girl sitting and staring off into the sunset across the water" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQmSbm1Ruypd1oER7t5SDSVI2Vkys7bsMtZ2NYz8z18eVpd_dQYnr5E7XM_vzQtE81ehnodx-GBXvVGFOjDu__5yoltNPUXiUTQpv4seJNs40itb-fxii1EMiJ-MbanNCK_eIAAicwdccp/s1600/staring+into+sunset.png" height="211" title="Take time to reflect" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">During this period also, you have the opportunity to find
yourself. Take the time to observe and analyze yourself. What went wrong in the
relationship? How did you contribute to its demise? When you figure out your part
in the break up, you will be able to make yourself better ready for another
partnership. Remember, once you make yourself whole, then is when you will be
ready to share yourself with someone; you do not become what someone else wants
you to be but you are a whole who is capable of intertwining your life with somebody
else’s.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">2] Give yourself a break. You are going through a difficult
thing, remember? It is understandable that you might not be as efficient as you
usually are. Do not be too hard on yourself. Just pick up on your interests. When
going through a break up it is easy to slip into depression and forget about or
simply become not interested in doing the activities that once made you happy.
However, now is the time to submerge yourself in fun activities. Instead of
pressuring yourself to work when you cannot concentrate anyway, why not do
something fun?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCTkBIRFlFSQ2e_uu3LxTJ8s1sQK7RvuVSMGYw6YP-Kc9pVxAR15_GGdQwYQlouOuK7iGvGvDgamo8ZoconjYINFKXfag9qbuKutFWfM8yRgY9h-boRZu79WuJ5GueIHjVr-gp6XuFDz1H/s1600/surfing.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Man enjoying himself surfing" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCTkBIRFlFSQ2e_uu3LxTJ8s1sQK7RvuVSMGYw6YP-Kc9pVxAR15_GGdQwYQlouOuK7iGvGvDgamo8ZoconjYINFKXfag9qbuKutFWfM8yRgY9h-boRZu79WuJ5GueIHjVr-gp6XuFDz1H/s1600/surfing.png" height="213" title="have some fun!" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">3] Do not go through this alone. You might not feel like
company, but you need to talk about it. Let your good friends and family help
you healand cope. Tell them how you feel. Let them help you sort out the
confusion in your head. They may not always have a solution but sometimes you just
need a listening ear. Talk it out with the end goal being healing, though, do
not just dwell in the pain as this does you no good and only leaves you resentful
and fearful of relationships and you<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>never move on from the break up. Isolating yourself only makes it worse,
your stress levels rise and your overall health suffers. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Breaking up may seem like the end of the world but remember
that once you still have life you will find a way. Just motivate yourself and
press on. The lessons you learnt from the experience will remain with you and
help you make wiser decisions in the future.</span><br />
<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reference</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">htt<a href="http://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm"><span style="color: blue;">p://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm</span></a></span><br />
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</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also check out this article <a href="http://www.the-bright-side.org/site/thebrightside/content.php?type=1&section_id=664&id=1212">Extreme break up recovery:maximum healing, minimum time</a></span></div>
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Photo credit: all pictures courtesy of <a href="http://morguefile.com/">morguefile </a>and <a href="http://pixabay.com/">pixabay</a>KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-68635707902408550182012-01-10T15:45:00.000-08:002014-05-24T13:16:06.868-07:00Jealousy in Relationships<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jealousy or “the green eyed monster”, as it is otherwise
called, is a strong emotion that us as humans tend to experience. If not
controlled, this emotion can get the better of us and can have crippling
effects on our relationships. But why do we get jealous? How do we lessen its
impact on our relationships?</span></div>
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<h2>
What is jealousy?</h2>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/2204677106_a8f0a3befc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="picture of an Angry man with his hands around a woman's neck " border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/2204677106_a8f0a3befc.jpg" height="213" title="How jealousy may turn ugly" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ben Pollard, <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/2204677106_a8f0a3befc.jpg">http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/2204677106_a8f0a3befc.jpg</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">According to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy">Wikipedia</a>, jealousy is an emotion which
typically refers to the negative feelings and thoughts of insecurity, fear and
anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values
particularly in reference to human <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>connections. So, in terms of relationships, we
see someone flirting with our partner and, for fear of losing them to another, we
feel jealousy. Jealousy manifests itself in the forms of anger, sadness, resentment
and disgust. It is these feelings that jealousy invokes that makes it have potentially
debilitating effects on relationships. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><br />
<h2>
Why do we get jealous?</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are many reasons as to why different persons become
jealous. Maybe in past relationships you were cheated on and so you transfer
that to every relationship that proceeds, finding it difficult to trust anyone
after being hurt the first time. Some argue that jealousy goes as far back as childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes, too, jealousy rares its ugly head because of our own
insecurities. For instance, a woman might be worried that because she has put
on some weight her husband is no longer as interested in her as he used to be. She
sees him looking at a slim woman and immediately she jumps to the wrong
conclusion. Or, maybe the partner getting jealous is the one who is stepping
out and so transfers his/her own insecurity to their partner and starts blaming
for things that might not even be there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also, it is said that jealousy came about so as to
discourage the desertion of persons by their mate. This helps to strengthem the
family bond and helps with the survival of the young [http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Understanding-Jealousy-Helen-Fisher-PhD-on-Relationships].</span></div>
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<a href="http://mrg.bz/2cUcFI" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Children playing together" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/2cUcFI" height="239" title="Younger members of a family enjoying each other" width="320" /></a></div>
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The effects of Jealousy in our love life</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For the most part, jealousy can have terrible effects on our
relationships. It tears away at a very important building block for our
partnerships, trust. If you find yourself unable to stop from snooping on your
mate’s facebook page or in their text messages, then you may have a problem. All
that time spent snooping around could be used to do something that you both
enjoy instead of driving a rift between you. The ways in which jealousy<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is expressed can be dangerous. Anger can make
a person do things that they may regret later. All of this negative activity eats
away at the relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It can have positive impacts, though. Some people’s jealousy
from someone flirting with their mate may turn into flattery; flattered that someone
else wants the lover that they own. In other cases, some people like when their
partners feel a little jealous over them. It serves to remind them that their
partner still appreciates and loves them. </span><br />
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<h2>
Conclusion</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whatever the cause or effect of this monster, we must try and
control it to make sure that it does not destroy our love life. Suspicious
about something, discuss it together and find out if there is reasonable cause
for worry. If there is not, let it go. Also, we must consider each other’s
feelings in a relationship. If you know your partner is uncomfortable with your
association with a particular person perhaps because of some history, then you should
try and lessen your link with that person. It is not that your partner should
control you but, in my opinion, relationships are about give and take and
limiting that link could not hurt if there is really nothing to worry about
there. Always try and keep the trust element firm in your partnerships. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-12979161779624451872011-12-29T13:05:00.000-08:002014-06-07T14:35:34.110-07:00Tips for Understanding your Man<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfiLubzREuxY35jWrf5FNB9CQzHEGr52bbpS_yD0eFSufc024HFMoSWuQcj44nU9NkiU9lR2j0ET5WjBH7oJOXaQx7XqmMbN2yT9Sfo3EbomVEjV-RHAiPJETFarzf1NHfWDjhzoiLFoDt/s1600/business+men.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Men dressed in business attire" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfiLubzREuxY35jWrf5FNB9CQzHEGr52bbpS_yD0eFSufc024HFMoSWuQcj44nU9NkiU9lR2j0ET5WjBH7oJOXaQx7XqmMbN2yT9Sfo3EbomVEjV-RHAiPJETFarzf1NHfWDjhzoiLFoDt/s1600/business+men.png" height="255" title="Businessmen" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table>
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” is what the old adage says. It really serves to show how different the sexes are, from completely different planets. One of the major differences between men and women is the way in which they express themselves. This difference can cause much conflict within a relationship as neither partner will be able to understand the other. Let’s try to understand our men, why they behave the way they do.
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Women are very expressive, society promotes it. You see, women are allowed to be soft. They are allowed to cry , say exactly what is causing them to hurt. Men are, however, completely different. There is a theory that suggests that, because traditionally the man is supposed to defend their women and children in times of danger, they are grown and taught not to have feelings as they would realize that killing is morally wrong. As a result of such training, they become adults who are uncomfortable with certain feelings and emotions; men who lack the ability to adequately express themselves.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghme67yvn1Ij_4cDPTs4k8vdrzhD4pmGUZEbBD3j1XUtcMsiL0wPIcP3gF_T4M1mhI82M0a3S2FafR_cGxS7iOiCmudAma7R98_SBhBWzxgzYRX-JtectmYyYjR1bFxoZ3MXslXGINcdRK/s1600/male+photographer.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A male photographer, leaning on wall, examining his camera" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghme67yvn1Ij_4cDPTs4k8vdrzhD4pmGUZEbBD3j1XUtcMsiL0wPIcP3gF_T4M1mhI82M0a3S2FafR_cGxS7iOiCmudAma7R98_SBhBWzxgzYRX-JtectmYyYjR1bFxoZ3MXslXGINcdRK/s1600/male+photographer.png" height="320" title="Male photographer" width="213" /></a><br />
Men are uncomfortable with feelings of sadness, hurting and fear. They do not like using words like vulnerable, sad and scared. They are likely to express anger and frustration as this is a safe zone for them.
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When they do this, of course, the woman’s immediate reaction is to get back into his face and then the argument starts. Either she does that or she begins to cry. She takes his anger personally and, once again, erroneously reinforcing to the man that nothing good can come out of expressing one’s emotions. But, what does that solve?
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As women, the first thing we need to be cognizant of is the aforementioned. Try to understand why the man reacts in such a way. From there, we can navigate the course of the proceedings that follows. Do not just fire back. Listen to what he is desperately trying to express in his frustration. Not only listen to what they say but watch their actions as again they will not say everything. It is not that the man is allowed to be disrespectful and abusive, but ladies there is merit in trying to understand what your man is trying to say. It makes for a happier relationship.<br />
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<a href="http://mrg.bz/wvuuy4" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Man and woman taking a stroll together hand in hand" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/wvuuy4" height="320" title="A couple taking a stroll" width="230" /></a></div>
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What do you think?<br />
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Reference:
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<a href="http://www.therelationshipgym.com/marriage-counselling-men-for-beginners.htm"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.therelationshipgym.com/marriage-counselling-men-for-beginners.htm</span></a><br />
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Photo credit: <a href="http://morguefile.com/">morguefile.com </a>and pixabay.com</div>
KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7608806998455566163.post-55394650866227091052011-12-20T10:59:00.000-08:002014-10-13T10:37:55.259-07:00What women want from their men<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://mrg.bz/RbK8Gs" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A professionally dressed woman reading a book in an office." border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/RbK8Gs" height="320" title="A working lady" width="240" /></a>
What does she want? That is a question that a lot of men seem to ask. You see, some men think that it is enough to simply provide financial support or physical help for the women in their lives. However, there is a lot more to keeping a woman than that. I always say that some men only concentrate on that initial phase of getting the woman, sweeping her off her feet. The real art though, for me, is the ability to keep the woman and keep her happy. That is where a lot of men fall short, they have no clue as to how to love a woman and maintain a happy relationship.</div>
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A companion</h2>
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A woman needs someone to share all the responsibilities with. Someone to share the decision making process. A woman wants to know that when she is unable to get something done, she can depend on her partner. She does not need someone whom she will have to pick up after and run behind. She needs someone reliable, a man to help her and pick up the slack. A leader, capable of and willing to take responsibility for his actions, but not someone to boss her around and dominate the relationship. Rather, she needs equality as an affirmation to the fact that what she thinks and says matters. <br />
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To feel loved</h2>
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Women are obviously more sensitive than men. We need to not only hear you say “I love you” but we need to see it in actions. Let her know why you love her. Tell her how gorgeous she is looking today, how her dress hugs her beautiful figure well. Yes, we need to hear it. It is not that a woman lacks self confidence why she needs to hear this from her man but she only wants to know that she can still turn the head of her man. It keeps the spunk in the relationship.<br />
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<a href="http://mrg.bz/DZf1Or" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="A woman serving food in an outside setting" border="0" src="http://mrg.bz/DZf1Or" height="217" title="A womanserving" width="320" /></a></div>
Make her feel loved, also, by showing appreciation. Can you imagine a woman slaving away at a dinner and the man comes in and does not want it or, even if he eats it, complains about the taste? That will drive a woman crazy. It is not that you cannot give constructive criticism but you must be tactful. Let her know you appreciate her. <br />
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Another thing is how he touches her. If the only time he touches her is when he wants sex then she will pick up on the pattern and begin to resent him for it. It should not be that every time a man gently touches and massages his woman it is because he needs sex. No, she will feel as if that is the only thing he wants her for. The man must know how to make her feel good without always wanting something in return. <br />
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<h2>
Communication</h2>
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This is a big one. Women like to express themselves, the way they are feeling. I know That there is a huge difference between the sexes in this regard but the greatest thing you will ever need to learn about a relationship is the art of compromising. So meet her half way. Talk about what is happening with you, what is happening at work etc. Again, we do not expect men to be as talkative as we are. Just have a conversation, she will lead the way.<br />
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Women are strong beings but we have soft hearts that can be broken easily. However, if a man plays his cards right, she will always be his tower of strength.<br />
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Photo credit: all pictures courtesy of <a href="http://morguefile.com/">morguefile.com</a> KStewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04604787293170448469noreply@blogger.com0