Say the word cheating to someone and they will know instantly
what you mean; some form of unfaithfulness by either partners in a
relationship. Upon finding out that a spouse has been unfaithful, one can feel
quite disappointed and upset. To protect against this, many focus on trying to recognize
the signs of a cheater. However, is that the right way to go? Is Knowing how to
catch a cheater as important as trying to understand why do people cheat?
Research shows that cheating in relationships is on the rise.
The rate of cheating seemingly used to only hover somewhere between 10 and 25% but
statistics now show that it is closer to 50%. That should be no surprise; I
mean really, there are websites set up now that are dedicated solely to the
purpose of helping married people commit infidelity. Seriously?
Many times cheaters do not set out to be malicious to their
partners. In fact, the cheating partner usually still loves and cares for the
other very much. They know that if their partner finds out about the affair it
would be devastating to them; that is why they keep it a secret. I once heard a
lady who
had been cheated on describe her feelings by saying that it felt like her soul had been taken out and stepped on. Wow, heart rendering! Then why do people cheat? Apart from the rare occasion where a particular person just simply enjoys doing it, what are the reasons why people continue to engage in extramarital affairs?
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had been cheated on describe her feelings by saying that it felt like her soul had been taken out and stepped on. Wow, heart rendering! Then why do people cheat? Apart from the rare occasion where a particular person just simply enjoys doing it, what are the reasons why people continue to engage in extramarital affairs?
Infidelity can be a symptom of something going wrong in the
relationship; a manifestation of some long standing issues. Someone cheating
does not have to be the end of a romance. Examining the reasons why people
cheat and fixing the problem from the root could help us all possibly prevent
cheating and keep healthy relationships.
Reason 1: Sex
Research shows that many people tend to quote sex as the
primary reason for cheating. Either they feel as if their partner is not giving
them often enough or that the whole act is simply not satisfying. Sometimes
there is a difference in the sex drives of the individuals and this can pose a
problem as one partner may not feel as inclined to engage in sexual activities
as many times as the other; leaving the other wanting. Also, lovemaking may
seem boring and monotonous to one spouse if it is always the same old way. A
difference in personalities may underline these problems.
Reason 2: Emotional attachment
In a relationship one expects to get attention, affection
and care from their spouse. If a partner feels as if he/she is not getting the
emotional connection needed, then they will look elsewhere. Women who cheat tend
to be the ones who seek emotional connection inside the arms of another person.
Reason 3: Falling
in/out of love
What exactly do we mean by being in love? Basically we are
talking about the spark that exists between partners; the chemistry that makes
them lovers. If there is no spark left in your relationship, your partner may
just feel like a best friend or a roommate
Reason 4: Revenge
Some people have affairs simply because their partner had
committed one first. They do it just to get back at them, to make the one who
cheated first experience just how painful discovering infidelity is.
Reason 5: Curiosity
Sensation seeking may be the reason for some people
committing infidelity. They simply feel for a change, they like novelty. Maybe
before the primary relationship, the partner in question never felt like he/she
got enough time to explore. Or sometimes wanting new experiences constantly is
a personality trait. That is why knowing if you and your spouse’s personalitiesare compatible is so important.
Reason 6: Self
abandonment
Upon reading ‘Why do people cheat on their partners’, I discovered
another possible reason for cheating. The psychologist there purports that self
abandonment also leads some people to commit adultery. You feel empty within
yourself and so you continually seek after others to fill the void.
Reason 8: A lifestyle
For some people it is like a culture. This seems especially
so with men who cheat. They see their friends doing it and it seems like it is
not a big deal. Sometimes too, that is the kind of behavior someone may observe
in the home while growing up. So it becomes easier to do.
If your partner loves you but still cheated on you, one of
the above could be the reason. You have to sort it out together. Pay attention
to one another, have fun and explore new things together, always keep it fresh.
Do what it takes to spice up your relationship. Remember if you cannot solve
the problems by yourselves, seek the help of a therapist.
References:
You might also like:
Exploring personality typs compatibility and romance
Myers-Briggs personality types and compatibility