Effective Communication Tips To Improve Your Relationships

There are several factors that can help a relationship between two people keep afloat. One such very important factor that must be done correctly is communication. If the communication in a relationship is not effective or poor, then that relationship may not last very long as several problems will arise. Here are some important tips for effective communication.

1] Try to stay on the topic

 

If a conflict arises between two people in a relationship, while discussing it, try to remain focused on the matter at hand and not stray and bring up things from yesteryear. Bringing up old stories tends to cloud the whole communication process and  sometimes you do not even remember what you were initially discussing and, hence, no effective problem solving takes place.

 

2] Pay attention

 

Listen to what your partner is saying. Really listen, do not just pick out bits and pieces and think of a come back. Instead, try to listen and understand their point of view, try to step into their shoes as effective communication requires persons in a relationship to empathize with each other. Also, observe your partner’s body language, as humans we communicate not only with our mouths but also through expression. When your spouse is speaking, do not interrupt, give feedback and show that you understand what was said.  

 

3] Watch your reaction

 

Make sure your partner knows that you are interested in the communication process. If a criticism about you is made, do not respond with defensiveness. Instead, try to understand why your partner thinks so of you. By taking this approach, you gain valuable information about yourself that you probably did not know. Take responsibility for your actions and work on fixing  your flaws that interfere with the relationship.

 

4] Be calm

 

Do not be argumentative or verbally abusive. This is not effective and will get you nowhere, communication is not a blame game. For example, instead of saying you did…try to start sentences with I feel frustrated when you….This route will spark less contention and the least amount of arguing you have during the communication process , the more effective itwill be.

 

5] The big one, compromise

 

The aim of communication is to diffuse contention by coming up with solutions that are satisfying forboth persons in a relationship. Do not be afraid of discussing the complicated issues; attack them together, brainstorm together for effective solutions. In order for everyone to be happy, each person will have to give and take.

Remember that the goal of effective communication is mutual understanding and finding solutions that will suit both partners in a relationship. So go ahead, take it slow. Control your temper and follow the tips to ensure a happy, loving and long lasting relationship.



If you have used these tips with success or if you have any other suggestions, don't be afraid to leave your comments. Remember it's a learning process for all of us.


http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/healthycomm.htm

Why people Enter Into Relationships With Age Differences

Cougar [a relatively new term in this context] and sugar daddy are words that are becoming common place these days. More and more persons are entering relationships with major age differences, more and more are becoming ok with it. Not everyone, though. Seeing people together who are obviously of completely different age groups can invoke very strong feelings in persons looking on. I think that that is mostly because we do not understand it; well quite frankly, if my child came home with a partner who is twice his age I am not sure I would understand it either. So, apart from the negative reasons [like for money], why do people enter into relationships with major age differences or gaps?

Cougars are natural predators in the wild. The term, however, is now used colloquially to describe a woman dating a younger man

An obvious reason that everyone would probably guessis physical attractiveness and sexual capabilities. Yes younger persons do not have sagging skin and wrinkles, drooping breasts, grey hair [at least most of them do not] and are certainly vore vivacious and full of energy for sexual purposes. Not everyone wants to grow old and grey with their partner, some prefer to look at young blood to help them keep young themselves.

Another reason is the commitment factor. I am not saying that everyone in relationships with age differences are not committed to one another and do not plan to have long lasting relationships. However, there are persons who enter these relationships just because they do not have to worry about commitment. They simply want a companion for the time being to travel, explore and have fun with.

Also, people enter into relationships with age differences for flexibility. For instance, a man who is already grounded in his career would probably not want to be bothered with a woman who is also already set in her way of life. By choosing a younger partner, he finds someone who may be willing to go anywhere his business would take him. With the rise in women taking their place in the working world, women are becoming more and more business oriented and less and less traditional. Such a woman would want a partner who would be willing to play more of a part in the household. A younger man would be more ideal  for such a purpose as, again, they are not heavy set in their ways and are more easily adjusted owing to cultural differences nowadays.

Oh and, of course, let us not forget about love. Two persons just become very fond of each other and decide that, in spite of all the  negative comments and potential problems withage difference relationships, they are going to be together. I mean, hey, love is love right?

If you know someone who is in a relationship with a major age difference or age gap, do not be too quick to judge. Maybe we should look at the reasons for such a move and see if it fits the person that we know. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and not everyone will be the same and want the same things out of life. Just hope, though, that they are prepared to deal with theimpact of age difference on relationships.

www.tigerace.com

Check out this article: Woman's Motivation to date Older Man 

Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy or “the green eyed monster”, as it is otherwise called, is a strong emotion that us as humans tend to experience. If not controlled, this emotion can get the better of us and can have crippling effects on our relationships. But why do we get jealous? How do we lessen its impact on our relationships?

What is jealousy?




Ben Pollard, http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/2204677106_a8f0a3befc.jpg

According to Wikipedia, jealousy is an emotion which typically refers to the negative feelings and thoughts of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values particularly in reference to human  connections. So, in terms of relationships, we see someone flirting with our partner and, for fear of losing them to another, we feel jealousy. Jealousy manifests itself in the forms of anger, sadness, resentment and disgust. It is these feelings that jealousy invokes that makes it have potentially debilitating effects on relationships.

                                                                                                                   

Why do we get jealous?

There are many reasons as to why different persons become jealous. Maybe in past relationships you were cheated on and so you transfer that to every relationship that proceeds, finding it difficult to trust anyone after being hurt the first time. Some argue that jealousy goes as far back as childhood. 

Sometimes, too, jealousy rares its ugly head because of our own insecurities. For instance, a woman might be worried that because she has put on some weight her husband is no longer as interested in her as he used to be. She sees him looking at a slim woman and immediately she jumps to the wrong conclusion. Or, maybe the partner getting jealous is the one who is stepping out and so transfers his/her own insecurity to their partner and starts blaming for things that might not even be there.  

Also, it is said that jealousy came about so as to discourage the desertion of persons by their mate. This helps to strengthem the family bond and helps with the survival of the young [http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Understanding-Jealousy-Helen-Fisher-PhD-on-Relationships].

 

 

The effects of Jealousy in our love life

For the most part, jealousy can have terrible effects on our relationships. It tears away at a very important building block for our partnerships, trust. If you find yourself unable to stop from snooping on your mate’s facebook page or in their text messages, then you may have a problem. All that time spent snooping around could be used to do something that you both enjoy instead of driving a rift between you. The ways in which jealousy  is expressed can be dangerous. Anger can make a person do things that they may regret later. All of this negative activity eats away at the relationship.

It can have positive impacts, though. Some people’s jealousy from someone flirting with their mate may turn into flattery; flattered that someone else wants the lover that they own. In other cases, some people like when their partners feel a little jealous over them. It serves to remind them that their partner still appreciates and loves them.

Conclusion

Whatever the cause or effect of this monster, we must try and control it to make sure that it does not destroy our love life. Suspicious about something, discuss it together and find out if there is reasonable cause for worry. If there is not, let it go. Also, we must consider each other’s feelings in a relationship. If you know your partner is uncomfortable with your association with a particular person perhaps because of some history, then you should try and lessen your link with that person. It is not that your partner should control you but, in my opinion, relationships are about give and take and limiting that link could not hurt if there is really nothing to worry about there. Always try and keep the trust element firm in your partnerships.